God Cares
By Dawn Wilburn 

     When I was a little girl, I remember my sister and I playing house.  I had always dreamed of someday having a wonderful husband and lots of children.  While the dream of having a wonderful husband came true, the dream of children has yet to be fulfilled.

     After years of trying to have a baby and months of infertility treatments, Scott and I were told that we would not be able to have children of our own.  As devastating as it was to hear those words, we felt God was still working in our lives and getting us ready for something great.

     Not long after we stopped the infertility treatments, we were asked if we would be interested in taking foster/adoption classes.  After praying about it, we decided to sign up.  We attended our first class on a Monday.  Two days after our first class, I received a phone call at work.  A mother had decided to place her unborn baby for adoption.  This was rather shocking, but the timing seemed perfect.  We felt our chances of being chosen were slim since we had just started the classes, but we knew that if God wanted the baby in our lives we would be chosen.  The day after the interview at 6:45 in the morning, Scott and I received the phone call that we were chosen.  We were ecstatic.  We had so many things to get done in anticipation of the arrival of our baby!

     In May, I received THE PHONE CALL that we had been waiting for. IT’S A GIRL!!!  My fingers couldn’t dial phone numbers fast enough.  While excited, I knew that this adoption was risky.  The birthmother had 48 hours to change her mind, but by now we really were not worried about that.  Everything had fallen into place so far, and I knew that God had chosen us for her.

     The birthmother did change her mind that day.  In fact, she had probably changed her mind before we were ever called with the news.  I can’t explain the pain we went through that day and the weeks following.  I never knew that little girl, but felt an extreme attachment to her.  I wanted so badly to know why.  Why were we chosen?  Why did it have to go so far?  I had so many questions.  I don’t know why God chose us to be in their lives and I may never know.  I do know that the birthmother and baby received so many prayers, and that they continue to receive our prayers.  One thing that has come from this is that we both have a stronger faith now than we did before.  We know that we have a faith that remains even when it is tested.  Rather than wonder if God really cares, we are assured that He does and that He is still in control.  Until you are tested, it is hard to know how much you really believe in the things that you say you believe.